Thrifty in White

Deep Thoughts | Snow Blowin' and Wedding Worryin'

If you're one of the Thrifty in White readers affected by the horrendous blizzard and ice storm that shamelessly ravaged much of the country for last few days (and with an estimated 100 million people affected, there's a slight chance you are), you know the power of a snow blower...and numbers. (OK, and the power of a plentiful stock of chocolate and Diet Coke, but that is completely beside the point.)

Unfortunately for me, I had a ginormous driveway with drifts up to my waist, a fiance working states away, and a snow blower I had never used and was deathly afraid of because instead of wheels, it had tank tracks. TANK TRACKS. I also had a dog who chose to run face-first into drifts instead of helping dig our way to freedom.

 

 Before and After

Needless to say, numbers of helpers were not on my side, unless you count the entertainment factor of Milliedog. I quickly realized that I had no choice but to harness the power of the snow blower with tank tracks, because waiting until it melted on its own could take weeks, and my Diet Coke supply was quickly depleting by the minute.

 

The ultimate showdown: Ominous-looking show blower vs. Hollie. 

 

And despite the fact that I got the snow blower stuck for an hour and had several "I quit," moments intermixed with a few tearful "Oh my God, I am never gonna get out of here," calls to my mom, I finally did it. With the power of the almighty snow blower and the trusty battle axe also known as a shovel, I cleared the path and my life will continue. I will be able to make it to the store tomorrow for more Diet Coke.

As painful as the experience was emotionally, especially considering how I was simultaneously freezing my buns off and sweating more than one of Jillian Michaels's clients, I had a lot of time to think. Shovel off the top layer, get dragged behind a snow blower with tank belts, send a quick text message, think about the wedding. In that order. For three hours. Alone. At this point, Millie was lazily napping inside next to a fire, so I had zero entertainment. It was just Hollie and her thoughts, which played on repeat.

What the heck are we going to throw together for escort cards? Will most of the guests dance, or did we pay too much for our DJ? How can the hotel accommodate our after party and the rowdy quarters tournament we're planning? Would I be devastated if it rains? What if my grandma's jewelry doesn't work with the dress? Would I have to get a new one? Do we even have room in the budget for that?!

And finally, when I victoriously slammed the shovel down upon completion of my snowy task (because the snow blower ran out of gas...I know. Winter preparedness is clearly not my strongest suite), all of my wedding thoughts caught up to me and I was struck with a revelation:

Dustin is the calm to my crabby, and the fact that I could even learn how to use the snow blower from him over the phone (yes, while I was crabby) was a true testament to the closeness of our relationship. As much as I thought about wedding this and wedding that during this snowed-in situation, it's not what matters in the long-run. Because at the end of the day? We'll be hitched and happy, and if guests want to be snarky about even a single detail, then they're not the people we should be inviting in the first place.

After the wedding, our lives will be chock-full of even more adventures: more snow-blowing, more business trips, more ups and downs and lounging with a dog and a cat in front of a warm fire during thundersnow. There will be more pets, eventually some kids, and hopefully some vacations and travel sprinkled on top. We will laugh and we will cry, and we will do it all together.

So, brides-to-be (and grooms-to-be, too), it's OK to be obsessed with your wedding and it's OK to plan until your eyeballs melt right out of your head (I am totally guilty of this). But don't lose sight of the fact that once the confetti is cleaned up and your body is free from a confining dress and toe-pinching shoes that were not constructed to be danced in, you're in a marriage. 

And even though the wedding will be over and done, your thank you cards begging to be written and sent, you will have so much to look forward to. And if that's not enough, you can come over here and help me plan, because with four months left? We have so much left to figure out.

 

 

Stay thrifty,
Hollie

Follow us on Twitter: @ThriftyinWhite
And we're finally on Facebook!

 

Solo Wedding Planning and the Dreaded "MY"

*For starters, are you digging the new Thrifty in White design or what?! A huge thank you to Super Runaway for being incredibly patient, talented, lovely and very superhero-like. More big changes are coming to our little budgeted corner of the interwebz, so keep checking back! It's gonna be a total rehaul, y'all.

 

If there's one thing I wish brides would chew up, spit out and squash forever, it's the word "MY." Grammar mistakes? I'll deal with it if I must. But completely taking over something meant for two? It's like riding a tandem bicycle by yourself in the world's tightest jeans and spike heels with one flat tire.

In other words, it's completely opposite from this adorbs picture:

Image source, via Pinterest

 

"My invitations are so..."

"My bridesmaids wore the prettiest..."

"My ceremony will be the most..."

Because unless you're Dennis Rodman circa-1996 and you're really, truly setting out to marry yourself, there are two people involved. OK, unless you're going to be a sister wife, because then there would be more than two people involved. But I think this is getting a bit too technical.

Most wedding bloggers are women. The wedding industry aims to please the ladies, TV shows feature our hissy fits and our dress selections, and free drinks are shoved in our faces at bridal shows. I'm not complaining, really (especially when it comes to the latter), but my heart goes out to the grooms, some of whom seem to be a bit forgotten under all the chantilly lace and milk glass.

They propose and inadvertently relinquish the power of decision-making and even having an opinion, because society tells us the wedding day is all about the bride. What, pink butterflies aren't your all-time favorite things? That's just too bad, because it's a recurring theme that is going to take over every aspect of the wedding.

I understand that not all grooms want to have much control, but I also understand that some actually do. Maybe they don't want to step on your excited little toes by actually voicing an opinion, but I would bet our entire wedding budget that some of them would at least  like to be asked.

Case in point: Myself and Dustin. I'm sad to say that I, too, was socialized to believe that the wedding would be all about me. Luckily, my groom-to-be has an opinion, and we've been together far too long for him to keep it from me.

Me: "Blah blah blah, we're not having a bridal party. I don't want to deal with it.

Him: "But I really want our friends to stand up with us."

Me: "That's just too bad."

Him: "Umm, but it's important to me."

*Cue pre-teen tantrum and a call to my mom with the full intention of tattling on him followed closely by a tag-team tell-him-like-it-really-is moment. I realize now how dumb this sounds, and I blame this on a severe case of bride-brain.

Fortunately for me (though it was quite unfortunate at the time), my mom set me straight. The same woman who praises my accomplishments and tells me when I have something in my teeth also taught me that a wedding is, in fact, about two people. And that before I make any decisions, I need to take a step back and include Dustin.

And when I got over myself a hot second later and finally included him, it was like opening the floodgates. Before I realized what was happening, he was calling the officiant, making a wedding song list, looking into venues, and having a valuable opinion about everything he could have an opinion about. It was truly a bicycle wedding built for two.

 

Image source, via Pinterest

 

...until Dustin temporarily moved far away this month for work with plans to be gone until April or longer. Our seemingly-miles-long list of DIY bouquets, invitations, ceremony decor and sweet personal touches fell entirely into my hands. There's only so much planning you can do over the phone, am I right?

Suddenly, our projects lost importance because they wouldn't be created by the both of us. Plus, things are just easier when two people split up the work. And as cute as my dog and cat are, their paws don't really lend themselves to holding a pair of scissors.

I know I'm not the first bride to go through this, and I know I won't be the last. There are people planning weddings while their partner is stationed halfway around the world serving our country. There are couples planning long-distance weddings, separated by work or school or plain ol' logistics.

So with two trouble-making pets and a group of amazingly crafty and talented friends and family, I'm hoping we can turn what now feels entirely like a "MY" wedding situation back into a positive "OUR" wedding experience. With Dustin dialed into a conference call and our loved ones' hands helping with a menagerie of projects, it should at least be a memorable journey that can still be all about the two of us.

Anybody out there dealing with solo wedding planning...or want to be the solo wedding planner? Is your partner an equal helper, or did they choose not to be? And let's be honest with each other: Did you have any 'zilla blowups at first because you had a vision? It's so embarrassing now, I know, but can't we all learn from our mistakes?

Stay thrifty,
Hollie

Follow us on Twitter: @ThriftyinWhite
And we're finally on Facebook!