If you follow the wedding industry at all, you've probably heard of BHLDN. Apparently that stands for "Beholden," which clearly shows someone's distaste for vowels on a quest to stand out in the wedding world. "Do we hate vowels? Not really...but let's take them out and make everyone wonder how the hell to pronounce our brand's name!"
And that brand is the wedding-related, highly anticipated, cooing baby of Urban Outfitters/Anthropologie/a few other places I didn't hear about until I saw press releases. And? It debuted today. But I don't understand the reason for the hype today, because we've been seeing teasers and product pictures everywhere in the wedding blogosphere for the last few weeks.
To be honest, I was kind of excited about BHLDN because I thought it would be innovative and bring fresh ideas to the industry. Plus I love going to my local Urban Outfitters, because they're notorious for marking things lower than they should be and then honoring the marked price. Leather ankle boots that were originally several-hundred dollars accidentally marked for $19.99? Thank you, retail karma. Anthropologie is the more-expensive, less-edgy cousin (sister?) to Urban, but it's usually way over my budget. And coming from a girl who has sale-radar, I mean way over my budget.
But their wedding line? I was hopeful. Key word: WAS.
“We’ll attract a bride who is looking to reflect her vision,” said [Kristin Norris, Bhldn’s managing director]. “She may be a more mature or sophisticated bride. Our customer skews slightly older, but she’s still under 30.” (via WWD)
Mature or sophisticated and looking to reflect her vision, huh? Clearly (at least according to their intended demographic), I am none of that.
First of all, the models. I just can't.
Image via BHLDN, $1000 dress
I understand that fashion-minded people think clothes are best displayed on models who weigh as much as one plastic hanger*, but come on. COME ON. What about real women with BOOBS? And thighs? And arms that don't resemble pencils? People have been touting the fact that BHLDN is going to show videos on their site of the dresses' movement, but how about showing us what they will look like one a gal who rocks a size 6? Or 12? (But no larger than that, because it seems that's as high as their sizes go.)
And you know what dress I would love to see on a more average-sized lady?
Image via BHLDN, $3,600 dress
This one. Because all of those ghastly pleats almost make the model look like she has a average-sized body, but one peek at her arms and we know that's not the case.
There are other cases of huge, fluffy flowers and cascading fabric across the belly-regions, which believe it or not, does nothing less than accentuate the areas I wouldn't want to accentuate. May as well sell a flashing red arrow that screams, "Look at my belly and know that I didn't diet like I said I would before this wedding!"
Not saying we all need to diet, but you know what I mean. I wanted to work on my arms and I still have yet to lift a weight, so I'm simultaneously guilty and unashamed. I still wouldn't want that flashing red arrow accentuating the areas that make me self conscious.
Other than the skinny models and the dresses that really don't do much for me, they offer lingerie (that wouldn't seem to be suitable under clothing or for girls with, ahem, a less-than-perky chest region and hip bones comfortably lying under a few layers of what we will call warmth); jewelry that is borderline yawn-worthy and far less thrilling than what you could unearth in cool local boutiques or antique shops (and it costs way more to boot); and hair accessories that you could find cheaper on Etsy or at local craft fairs.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Hair flower should not cost an arm and a leg. Unfortunately, the cheapest on their site is $58...and they range up to $825. FOR A FEATHER?!
BHLDN, I don't know why the wedding world is so smitten with you, while lots of us realize we could get the same stuff (or, honestly, better) on Etsy or eBay for a fraction of the price. And the fact that they promote their use of vintage fabrics and details? I just bought gloves almost identical to this at an estate sale for $2 last month. No estate sales near you? A quick online search just proved to me that there are an abundance to be found...for about $5-$10.
And, um, that's a $50 savings.
What do you think, thrifty readers? Are you digging BHLDN? Do you have hostility toward vowels and an affinity for overpriced wedding accessories? Let's be honest with each other, and feel free to disagree: Do you think the collection is stunning and I'm just being a snarky crab?
Oh, and one more question: Would YOU rock this wedding day 'do?
Image via BHLDN, $128 headband
Yeah, neither would I. Unless I was getting married in a field with wind gusts and I had no control over it. Or a wind tunnel.
Stay thrifty,
Hollie
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*When I chastise BHLDN for their use of thin models, I clearly don't mean skinny people aren't real people, because I know they are. And if you're a size-0 Thrifty in White reader, I realize you might look a lot like this in your wedding dress. But would it be so difficult to show models who are 6 or 8 or 10 sizes larger than that? Yes, BHLDN...we're looking at you.
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