Thrifty in White

Relationships | Having Bride Brain and Calling the Whole Thing Off

I admittedly have a severe, take-me-to-see-somebody-about-this case of Bride Brain, as much as it pains me to admit how much this wedding is affecting my everyday life.

I wake up and stare at unfinished projects with a dumbfounded look on my face, drool likely trickling out the side of my gaping mouth. I try to work like a normal member of society, and I catch myself scanning a multitude of wedding blogs between consultations with my trusty AP Stylebook. And in the late hours of the night (and, um, into the wee hours of the morning) when I really should be sleeping or helping Sarah McLachlan's charitable ASPCA efforts, I'm working on our wedding itinerary and acting like a total bridezilla--all alone and behind closed doors, so I think that gives me a pass. Sort of.

 

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At my worst, having Bride Brain clouds my judgment and makes me act like a crazyperson who just so happens to be wedding planning. I let my 'zilla show. When I argue with Dustin, I threaten to call off the wedding even if the argument is over something so stupidly small it embarrasses me to even try and remember. He still loves me and I eventually apologize and admit that, secretly, I didn't mean a single word I said. He understands because he's known my drama-queen side for 5 years now, and we all move on with our lives without a second thought.

But sometimes, I get to thinkin'--and I don't know if any other engaged couples see through their pre-marital bliss and think about this too, but I guess I'll go out on a limb--when do you know it's time to call things quits? When do you know that [even if you've sent out 300 save the dates and invitations, bought a dress and put so many deposits down it makes your head spin] it's time to call the whole thing off?

 

*Really super-duper important note that can't even be shoved down at the bottom of the post: If you're reading this and are feeling short of breath and light-headed, calm down. Dustin and I are not calling the wedding off, nor are we even thinking about calling it off. I promise when I threaten it, I'm just being dramatic. Sort of how I also threaten to sell the dog when I come home and see she ate all of my supplies to make bridesmaid bouquets. We are happily getting married and we're happily keeping Milliedog, we promise. :)

  

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This post isn't chock-full of advice because I have no business giving any. I'm just genuinely curious after hearing stories of people knowing before the wedding that things weren't right, but they still went through the whole thing anyway. We all know divorce happens, and it's probably affected us somehow in some way, but how do you know deep down in your heart that it's more than sadness about your fleeting singledom and a small douse of cold feet?

I think I get it. Even at our unhappiest, we all want people to change. But can they? And what's more important: Saving face and not having to notify guests that there will be no wedding, or saving yourself and getting out when you know it's the right thing to do?

Well. Happy Friday? Should I leave you with a pretty picture after such heavy thoughts?

OK, but only because you asked for it and I'm feeling guilty for taking us to the weekend all angsty-like.

 

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That's better. 

But really... Anybody have anything to contribute regarding the more, ahem, serious conversation above? Or are we blocking it from our memories? Fine then. Anybody have any fun ideas for the weekend? ANYBODY?

Ah, well. Can't say I didn't try!

 

Stay thrifty,
Hollie

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Welcome to the Plastic Cup Zone

I'm just going to come right out and say it: Our venue, which we love, is a plastic cup zone.

  

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Yep, exactly like these, but with keg beer and wine inside instead of lights. Wine in a plastic cup? Bet you didn't think you'd see that again once you left college...especially at a wedding! (Note: This will be entirely unlike college because we're not serving Boones Farm to our guests.)

  

OK, so it's obviously not a deal breaker and we're choosing to focus our attention on other more important things (like, you know, our union). You see, there is actually the option to pay extra for real glasses, but we would also have to pay extra to have a staff member to wash all of the glasses as people chug their drinks, slam the empty cup on the bar and demand another round. I would offer to do it to save a few bucks, but I figured I would be awfully busy playing bride and rocking an air guitar with Dustin to the Spin Doctors.

  

For a fiery hot second, we considered making sweet drink-stirrer-flag-things like this (and I have Mrs. Trail Mix to thank for this idea, since I saw her say somewhere that they were a snap to make):

  

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The flags pictured above are made with Japanese washi tape (LOVE this idea for so many reasons), but you can follow Mrs. Dolphin's step-by-step ribbon flag DIY right ova here.

  

...but in the end, we just decided against it. Yes, they would be all sorts of cute and festive and go with the non-color-scheme we're sort of throwing together haphazardly as we please. (Polka dot and striped drink stirrers? Why not?!) But are they necessary? Because we're only serving beer and wine, the answer is an unenthusiastic, "Nope." It's quite possible that the idea would be lost on our guests, because who really wants to have to deal with a flag hitting them in the face as they try to enjoy a cold beer?

  

Not I, and certainly not Dustin.

  

Thus began my, "How about biodegradable plastic cups?!" kick, because if we're going to have to throw away oodles of plastic drink vessels, they may as well be eco-friendly. And did you know some are even made out of corn? How entirely fitting since our wedding will be among the cornfields of Illinois.

  

Unfortunately, this is turning out to be so far out of our budget, it's somewhere warm and tropical with not a winter storm alert in sight. Spending a few hundred bucks on plastic cups we plan to simply throw away? My wallet is screaming at the mere thought and my brain keeps drifting back to the original FREE plastic option.

  

Alas, we're 99 percent sure we're going to suck it up and deal with the plain ol' plastic cups. Life will go on, and so will our festive wedding love-fest. I certainly hope guests will leave the party remembering the amazing music, delish food, and oodles of love...not the plastic cup they sipped from.

  

However, because I'm a bit persnickety when it comes to details, I will probably take full advantage of that uncertain 1 percent and spend lots of time researching alternatives when really I should be thinking about vows. Or the collection of antique glass I have scattered all over my table. Or if my dress will even work with the necklace I'm borrowing from my grandma. Or how much I seriously miss Dustin and wish he was here to plan alongside me and spend hours upon hours thinking about something as small as what our guests will drink from.

  

Sheesh. We can only hope that I'll stumble upon an estate sale with boxes of hundreds of amazing glasses for just $5.

  

Have you been to a plastic zone wedding, and does it totally stick out in your memory? Or are you, for whatever reason, having a wedding adorned with plastic cups? Do you think it's tacky, or is it totally acceptable for a casual wedding? Tell the truth...I can handle it!

Reality TV + Wedding Colors = Choose A Scheme Already, Fools.

When people ask about our wedding plans, they usually go through a few standard questions: When? Where? Will you have an open bar? How's the planning going? What are your colors?

We have the answers for the first three questions in the bag (and obviously we are having an open bar because our guests would probably burn the venue down otherwise). The answer to the fourth varies from day to day, depending on what we're struggling with at any given moment (and now it's all about catering, baby). And up until this point, my answer to that last question has been one word: "Bright."

And you know what? It just never appeases people.

"But what color are your bridesmaids dresses?" they ask.

"Neutral," I respond.

"But what colors do you like?"

"All of them."

And at this point the conversation abruptly stops, because they realize that I have no color schemes in mind and therefore we can't gossip over so-and-so's wedding and how the bouquets were the perfect shade of yellow, although they clashed with the bridesmaids dresses, which didn't really go with the groomsmen...at all.

So before I make any decisions about anything, I have to get this color situation under control. I already know that pink is my biggest nightmare, though sometimes I like it when it's bright and mixed with other colors. I hate most blue, although turquoise is a possibility and I'm borderline obsessed with it. And I love green, but it can't be neon, hunter, or anything remotely close.

I also want to have a group of wedding colors, not just two or three, because I want the whole affair to be the most colorful love-fest anyone has ever seen...without resembling a circus, and without looking thrown together without a purpose.

Do you see why I've been putting this decision off for so long? And of course Dustin, my groom-to-be, is up for anything...as long as it's not too girly. Are we a match made in indecisive heaven or what? Just wait until we have to figure out baby names...thank God that won't be for years (and years and years).
 

 
 

So if color schemes were contestants on The Bachelorette, this is how my season would go down:

 
 

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Contestant number 1: When I first saw this color combo, I had an insta-crush. Even though I hate light blue in all aspects of my life, I ignored that little detail because I looove the gold and brown. In other words, this combination is the guy who is perfect in so many ways...except he is unemployed and living in his parents' basement with no intentions of ever moving out.

I tried to make it work by spending time with the color scheme and flirting with the idea of a long-lasting relationship...but why keep it around if I don't really love the whole combination? It will eventually find a bride and groom who are madly in love with all of its colors...even that light blue.

Status: Eliminated on the first date.
  
 

 

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Contestant number 2: These colors are just so cool. They're the hip-glasses-wearing, indie-music-listening guy who is so darned trendy you want to date him, if even for some of that coolness to rub off on you. I liked it a lot more than contestant number 1, and kept it around in my inspiration folder because I genuinely hoped it would be a possibility.

But after dating it for a while, I just don't think it's warm enough. Kind of like the guy you have to beg to hold your hand in public. It's still cute, but it's just a little too cool. I need some sugar, both in my dating life and in wedding colors.

Status: Eliminated.
 
 

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Contestant number 3: We're so on the right track with this one. I love every single thing about this color scheme...it is so wedding material. Kind of like the doctor your mother always dreamed of you marrying, and he is also fun and you really, really like spending time with him.

But for as great as this doctor/contestant/color scheme is overall, there just isn't that spark. I really like everything about these colors individually, but I think we're better off as friends.

Status: Eliminated (but not right away).
 
 
 

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Contestant number 4: And this is where things get tricky. Don't you just hate how the person choosing on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette gets all teary and screams about how torn they are between two people, even though the two are completely different and everyone is shocked about how one of them got so far? I'm in that boat right now, and this is one of the finalists.

This color scheme is not really what I thought we would end up with, especially because I'm absolutely bonkers (in a good way) about how good it looks against the dark background. Black or dark gray as a wedding color? But I thought I only wanted bright colors!

This is that finalist who everyone thought would be eliminated right away but somehow stayed in the game. Is it just a bunch of really good colors bunched together to trick me into thinking it would be a good combination? Or could this really work? Egads.

Status: UNDECIDED.
 
 

 

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Contestant number 5: I love EVERYTHING about this. The turquoise, the darker orange, the white and brown...I've been dreaming about this combination for a long, long time. It's like my dream guy all wrapped up in a bow, madly in love and just waiting to propose. He's the finalist on The Bachelorette who everyone knew would be in the final two from the moment he stepped out of the limo the very first night.

But maybe I just think I want this combination because it's something I imagined having for our wedding since the very beginning? Should I take a risk and choose contestant 4, or go with something that I know will make me happy, a la contestant 5?

Status: UNDECIDED.
 
 


  
So what's the verdict? Contestant 4 or 5? Anybody else out there struggling over color choices? Are you like us & want a big group of wedding colors, as opposed to two or three? Are you as addicted to reality TV as I am?

Stay tuned for the finale of The Bachelorette...I mean, our color decision.

 
Thrifty love,
Hollie

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